We're watching you, but not for the things you think we're watching.
I have seen a lot of young men around me who are so obsessed with looks, and cars, and having the latest things, and a lot of times it seems to be a show to impress the girls around them. And I will say, for women who have their minds set on the things of this world, those things will often impress them. But for godly young women who are looking for a godly husband to raise a family with, those things are not the things we are searching for.
We're Watching How You Treat Others
You may not realize this, but we're watching how you treat the people around you. The way you joke, the way you help or speak; those things matter to us. They're what help us understand your character. If you spend all your time joking and being macho, bragging about all the things you've done, we will not be impressed.
Do you want to know the things that have made me look at a young man with respect? One example was a young man getting down on one knee to talk to my dad, because my dad sits on a medical scooter, and the young man didn't want to tower over him while he was talking to him. Another is a young man who often stops what he's doing to go and help ladies carry things, or open doors when their arms are full. And there's a whole group of young men at my church who have earned my extreme admiration for their service to others, even when they get nothing back from it. Each of these examples show young men who are talking to and helping people who can give them nothing in return. We notice how you treat others. And speaking of the young men serving;
We Notice How Much You Serve
If a young man is constantly serving, we will notice. We're not blind to it, and frankly, it is impressive when we see young men serving. It shows a servant's heart. I am personally most impressed by the young men who serve in the background, and ask nothing for their service. It truly impresses me, and some of the men I respect the most are continuously serving. And these men aren't just serving on Sundays, but they are serving throughout the week.
We Notice What You Do On Sundays
We actually do watch what you do in service. And let me say, there have been a few young men who have lost a great deal of my respect because of how they behave on Sundays. I have seen young men sit through the service, not even paying attention. They don't take notes, they don't ever come to first service, and they barely even look at the Pastor while he's preaching. They're there just to warm a seat because their parents told them to go. And let me tell you, we know, and we notice. We're not blind to what you do. And this leads into my next point;
We Definitely Catch On To When You Have No Interest In Learning Outside of Sunday
When you don't show up for any prayer meetings, and we never hear of you going to a Bible study, and you have no mentor, we can pretty much deduce from that that you are not interested in studying the Bible seriously. There are exceptions to this. Sometimes work gets in the way, and if you have a low paying job, it's extremely hard to skip work, or if you are in the medical profession and you're on call, these are very good reasons for not always being able to get to church meetings. But if you make no effort to ever go to anything except for the late service on Sunday, we get suspicious as to what you're really devoted to. Are you really putting GOD first? Or are you just going to church to check that off your list?
What You Do Tells Us What You Value
If you show up to church in an expensive car, with expensive clothes, and half a can of hair spray in your hair, we will notice, and it's not just the smell of the hair spray. What are you saying you value with your clothes and possessions? We get trying to look nice, we like to look nice, too; but if you always have to look pristine, you have to have the nicest car, and the nicest clothes, the coolest tech, and the latest album from the coolest band, we're not going to be impressed with that. We're not looking to marry someone cool. We're looking for someone godly and faithful.
Just as you are looking for a godly wife, we are looking for godly husbands. We want men who study their Bibles and know what the Word of GOD says so that they can teach their children the Gospel, and really, teach us, too. I hope my husband knows WAAAY more theology than I do!
We want men who can serve, because a man who can serve someone who isn't family is a man who can sacrifice for his wife and children. We want men who aren't afraid to be poor, because in this increasingly sinful world, that might be what it takes to guard their reputations, or what it takes to be able to work less so they can spend more time with their families. We want men who will help us take care of their parents and our parents when they grow old. We want men who treat us with respect; someone we feel safe to submit to, instead of feeling like submission is a burden.
Remember that we're watching you. And as we interact with others, we know that you're watching us, too.
I have seen a lot of young men around me who are so obsessed with looks, and cars, and having the latest things, and a lot of times it seems to be a show to impress the girls around them. And I will say, for women who have their minds set on the things of this world, those things will often impress them. But for godly young women who are looking for a godly husband to raise a family with, those things are not the things we are searching for.
We're Watching How You Treat Others
You may not realize this, but we're watching how you treat the people around you. The way you joke, the way you help or speak; those things matter to us. They're what help us understand your character. If you spend all your time joking and being macho, bragging about all the things you've done, we will not be impressed.
Do you want to know the things that have made me look at a young man with respect? One example was a young man getting down on one knee to talk to my dad, because my dad sits on a medical scooter, and the young man didn't want to tower over him while he was talking to him. Another is a young man who often stops what he's doing to go and help ladies carry things, or open doors when their arms are full. And there's a whole group of young men at my church who have earned my extreme admiration for their service to others, even when they get nothing back from it. Each of these examples show young men who are talking to and helping people who can give them nothing in return. We notice how you treat others. And speaking of the young men serving;
We Notice How Much You Serve
If a young man is constantly serving, we will notice. We're not blind to it, and frankly, it is impressive when we see young men serving. It shows a servant's heart. I am personally most impressed by the young men who serve in the background, and ask nothing for their service. It truly impresses me, and some of the men I respect the most are continuously serving. And these men aren't just serving on Sundays, but they are serving throughout the week.
We Notice What You Do On Sundays
We actually do watch what you do in service. And let me say, there have been a few young men who have lost a great deal of my respect because of how they behave on Sundays. I have seen young men sit through the service, not even paying attention. They don't take notes, they don't ever come to first service, and they barely even look at the Pastor while he's preaching. They're there just to warm a seat because their parents told them to go. And let me tell you, we know, and we notice. We're not blind to what you do. And this leads into my next point;
We Definitely Catch On To When You Have No Interest In Learning Outside of Sunday
When you don't show up for any prayer meetings, and we never hear of you going to a Bible study, and you have no mentor, we can pretty much deduce from that that you are not interested in studying the Bible seriously. There are exceptions to this. Sometimes work gets in the way, and if you have a low paying job, it's extremely hard to skip work, or if you are in the medical profession and you're on call, these are very good reasons for not always being able to get to church meetings. But if you make no effort to ever go to anything except for the late service on Sunday, we get suspicious as to what you're really devoted to. Are you really putting GOD first? Or are you just going to church to check that off your list?
What You Do Tells Us What You Value
If you show up to church in an expensive car, with expensive clothes, and half a can of hair spray in your hair, we will notice, and it's not just the smell of the hair spray. What are you saying you value with your clothes and possessions? We get trying to look nice, we like to look nice, too; but if you always have to look pristine, you have to have the nicest car, and the nicest clothes, the coolest tech, and the latest album from the coolest band, we're not going to be impressed with that. We're not looking to marry someone cool. We're looking for someone godly and faithful.
Just as you are looking for a godly wife, we are looking for godly husbands. We want men who study their Bibles and know what the Word of GOD says so that they can teach their children the Gospel, and really, teach us, too. I hope my husband knows WAAAY more theology than I do!
We want men who can serve, because a man who can serve someone who isn't family is a man who can sacrifice for his wife and children. We want men who aren't afraid to be poor, because in this increasingly sinful world, that might be what it takes to guard their reputations, or what it takes to be able to work less so they can spend more time with their families. We want men who will help us take care of their parents and our parents when they grow old. We want men who treat us with respect; someone we feel safe to submit to, instead of feeling like submission is a burden.
Remember that we're watching you. And as we interact with others, we know that you're watching us, too.
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